Here’s the #1, biggest, most important thing I’ve learned about myself in the past year: I don’t communicate the way I think I do.

I talk pretty fast, apparently. Think fast, move fast. I had no idea how apparent this was until Butch Ward a Poynter faculty member who I had known a grand total of less than a month, told me that. I turned around and everyone I know confirmed it.

I actually think I move too slow sometimes. I tend to vex about stuff, overthink it. When it comes out, I worry it is too late, so I say all the things immediately.

How often do we say something and then ask people to repeat it back to us? Not often. We move so quickly now, probably thanks to technology. This simple action is key when you’re managing someone with a different communication style than your own. Ask: “So, what are our next steps after our talk again?” Or: “Let’s agree on what’s next. You go first.”

I hate memos, but I’ve come to embrace the follow-up email with points written down clearly, with lots of bolding and underlining. It’s the best way I know to make sure I was heard, and to put down, on paper, people’s contributions. Replies don’t often come, but sometimes, I get a woah-I-didn’t-quite-hear-that-but-now-I-do reply. It also gives introverts a space to contribute to the conversation.

Redundancy is not something to strive for in action, but it is in communication.

***

Let’s take a second to talk self-care. One thing a therapist friend once told me was to make a list of six things that make you happy, and in times of difficulty, turn to that list.

Here’s mine, what’s yours?

1. Walking around Target
2. Reading in our backyard hammock
3. Look at art
4. Videos of cats/sloths/animals
5. Two-minute cuddle session with our pets
6. Organizing a cabinet (this is one of the things I turn to when I’m anxious)

Share some quick self-care defaults for you and I’ll compile a grand list to share soon.

I <3 tea
I drink an obtuse amount of tea. Probably 6 cups a day, but I figure it’s healthier than my previous six cup of coffee a day. Because I left coffee behind, I start my day off with this coffee pu-erh from David’s Tea. it has a little coffee beans in it and is as close to the real thing as I can get on a regular basis.

Great things I’ve read lately
What it is like to be transgender in Peru, tl;dr: very sad, not great (Washington Post). A cool toolkit for building process and projects in newsrooms (OpenNews) The care and feeding guide for product managers but applicable to anyone working on cross-office teams (Medium, CaliforniaKara).

Jobs jobs jobs 
Features editor for the Marshall Project. Two art direction jobs and a senior engineering job (WIRED). A Drone job that I will be jealous of if you get (UNICEF). Senior-level web developer (Ars Technica)